Why men have extramarital affairs?
Talk about a loaded matter that no one wants to talk about, this is it. Funny thing, married dating have been going on from millennium. Extramarital relationships can be filled with troubles, cause heartache, and other harms. In addition you should wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness issue, finances, age dissimilarity, religious education, shame, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I shall identify an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, date married man.
Why do people have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are people seeking affairs. I am sure generally though it is just the human nature, the need for care, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a several reasons I have run across.
Physically we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and exciting, and sex makes us escape the real world for a brief period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Someone are able to turn the desire on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another person, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos humanity has erected against extramarital affairs. For many people the yearnings will beat their doubts and make them risk the anger of not only their family, but society as well. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, maybe some of us are. Sex is horribly pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not wound your family or anybody else? You will need to lessen the threat you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is beneficial to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the major group, very big actually. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, except they feel happy in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the children to consider. Your assets are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay as a family besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that stop them completing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An affair occasionally solves the problem while keeping the marriage intact.
Neglect, sorrowfully this is a common cause I fear. One or the other, as a rule the gentleman is sexually neglecting his wife for a number of reasons. As a man I truly am thankful to you guys neglecting your ladies and making them available to us males of romance, making them “milf wives” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, maybe compassion is gone, maybe it is the closeness, could be neglect. Maybe we have simply grown distantly, our general concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is conflicting of what you want. Maybe I just do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The number one reason people give is, they seek the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for financial gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.